Sunday, January 25, 2004
If you're reading this, you're either really bored, or someone who knows me. If you're really bored, this is mostly going to continue to bore you; if you're someone who knows me, none of this is new to you. In other words...this is a waste of bandwidth, and I'm ok with that.
As you know, my wife asked me to leave in 2003. This after years of counseling, talking, all that stuff. I've spent days crying, days raging, days riding a motorcycle aimlessly around the midwest trying to keep from thinking. I've come to no conclusion, other than that I wish I'd been able to be the person she wanted me to be. I don't want to go back to feeling like I felt toward the end of the marriage, either. It's frustrating, the whole damn thing.
The girls seem to be adjusted really well to me being gone. They're happy to see me, but they don't really seem to miss me all that much. I'm trying to come to terms with being away from them. Sometimes it's harder than anything else. Sometimes it's easy and I feel guilty for feeling happy.
The Fanatics Group guys have almost all been through something similar, and it's good to talk to them about this stuff. It helps me, when I'm feeling weird, to know that I'm not the only person to go through something like this, and that what I'm going through is nothing compared to what some other men have been through.
I've put up flyers for math tutoring, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to get some extra income that way. I'd like to be to the point with tutoring where I didn't have to get into the paycheck at all. A lot of things would be more simple, if that were the case.
As you know, my wife asked me to leave in 2003. This after years of counseling, talking, all that stuff. I've spent days crying, days raging, days riding a motorcycle aimlessly around the midwest trying to keep from thinking. I've come to no conclusion, other than that I wish I'd been able to be the person she wanted me to be. I don't want to go back to feeling like I felt toward the end of the marriage, either. It's frustrating, the whole damn thing.
The girls seem to be adjusted really well to me being gone. They're happy to see me, but they don't really seem to miss me all that much. I'm trying to come to terms with being away from them. Sometimes it's harder than anything else. Sometimes it's easy and I feel guilty for feeling happy.
The Fanatics Group guys have almost all been through something similar, and it's good to talk to them about this stuff. It helps me, when I'm feeling weird, to know that I'm not the only person to go through something like this, and that what I'm going through is nothing compared to what some other men have been through.
I've put up flyers for math tutoring, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to get some extra income that way. I'd like to be to the point with tutoring where I didn't have to get into the paycheck at all. A lot of things would be more simple, if that were the case.
