Ever wonder why people make these things? Me neither.

I'm still squinting from a sudden bout of crying. I just had this incredible feeling of loneliness and abandonment, out of nowhere, and all I wanted to do was hold my children. Sadly, and unknown to me, they are spending the night with my mother, out of town. It only made me feel worse. It's too late to call to talk to them, and I don't want them to hear me sobbing, anyway. I just miss them, and I miss feeling like I'm part of something good. I haven't let myself feel hurt for a while, and this just hit me out of the blue. I guess the grief that I'm going to feel over this chapter of my life coming to an end is more than I'd thought. I just have to keep praying and doing the next right thing. I did call Shane, and left a message on his phone. That's more than I'd usually have done, and I really impressed myself by picking up the phone and doing it. Maybe I'm going to be ok.